I haven't posted on my reading of "The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck" in quite a while now. I say to myself that it's because I have been very busy with other things. And while I sit at my mechanic this morning rereading the last part of the book that I haven't posted on, it's because it's damn uncomfortable.
This section is about "no" and rejection but not in the way you might think. Rather than being about how to handle rejection from others, it's more about rejecting things ourselves or standing for nothing. Mark says "If we reject nothing (perhaps in fear of being rejected ourselves), we essentially have no identity at all." I couple this with "silence is the voice of complicity" and ask myself am I doing the right thing not posting so much about the things I see happening in this country right now? I hate the racism I see, I hate the open corruption in our government, I hate the attacks our government is now making on established science, the environment, public education, how children of immigrants are being ripped from their parent's arms by ICE and so much more. But I also hated what focusing on these things was doing in my head and turning me into. I'd rather be a peacemaker than a divider and I know that I actually have much in common with oh let's say those who voted for Trump. I share much of their anger at the system, for example, the system is broken we just have very different views on how to fix it. As I get to know some of these people I see some wonderful people with very different views. So can I take a stand without dividing? Can I keep communication open? Can I build bridges and not walls? Can I take a stand and not be a *ick? I heard some time ago that a person was asked to go to an anti-war rally and they said they wouldn't but would go to a pro-peace rally. I feel like that's what I want to be, stand for things I value not against things I hate, but in doing so am I a voice of complicity? Enough rant, for now, I have to pay the mechanic. But I while I like Mark's book a lot I think he is somewhat wrong here. Largely because I know that when you "take a stand" and point out that someone is wrong, they usually dig in and get into a defensive position rather than opening up to new ways of thinking and change. There may be times to take such a stand, but I think it is usually counterproductive. It's true as Mark says that "Nobody want's to feel that they can't say what they really mean." But perhaps to help with human progress we need to learn to be diplomatic about it.
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