Confession time: I have been avoiding this section titled The "Do Something" Principle. because I feel that I really suck at actually doing things.
But really, I am not so sure about that, I mean I have been reading this book and posting my thoughts for ALL to see, that's doing something. I have lost 10 lbs in the last month, that's doing something too! In this section, Mark says that motivation comes from doing things, NOT wait until you feel motivated to do something and certainly the two examples I just shared affirm that in my life. I need to DO more of that, I bet you do too. Mark says: "If we follow the 'do something' principle, failure feels unimportant. When the standard of success becomes merely acting - when ANY result is regarded as progress and important, when inspiration is seen as a reward rather than a prerequisite - we propel ourselves ahead. We feel free to fail, and that failure moves us forward. So simply stated we just need to give less fucks and DO something.
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It is officially time for my first-month update for the Be Your Best Challenge.
On weight, my 30-day goal was 7 lbs. When I started my scale said 280 today it says 271 so I beat my first month's goal by 2 lbs! I have to say that was with a bit of cheating (especially that one Friday night after work!) and going off the products completely for a couple days. Plus without any kind of regular exercise, I still need to work on that. Beyond the improvement in my weight, I am very pleased with my overall energy. I help some friends do some moving yesterday and was not completely exhausted, good recovery. I also fell during that and yes my knees are sore, but not nearly as bad as I think they would have been before. Again, very good recovery. I absolutely know that I am getting better nutrition with this program and I am feeling it. Also saving money over what I was before, which is a nice little bonus. I do have a long way to go on some of my regular food choices but I am seeing that improve without forcing it too, like a couple days ago a got an Orange rather than a bag of chips, Sad to say I don't remember when the last time I had an orange was, and it was delicious! I highly recommend this program to others and invite you to join me in the challenge. Will you rise up? Here is a link for more info. Today's read was a pain in that it was about the value pain can bring in making our lives better. Like painful muscles from working out make us physically stronger, emotional pain (if we allow it) can make us emotionally stronger. From Mark: "Our most radical changes in perspective often happen at the tail end of our worst moments. It's only when we feel intense pain that we're willing to look at our values and question why they seem to be failing us. We need some sort of existential crisis to take an objective look at how we have been deriving meaning in our life, and then consider changing course." I hate to admit it, because I hate pain of any kind, but as I look back at my life I can see how true this is. And I am glad that I looked at my values and how I got my values and changed course rather than self-medicating with some substances and missing out on a better life. To some extent, even without a clear pain point I am doing that again know and hope that I always will. My life in many ways is better now than in the past, but it's not still not what I want in many ways, so I am again looking at my values and where I get my meaning, evaluating and changing course. To that end I am really glad I got this book it is a very helpful tool in that process, thank you Mark Manson! But as much as we look at our values and meaning, we are never going to fully know and that brings us to doing something anyway! I did not post an update Friday and the Dr. visit was one reason for that. Glad to say that I came away with a clean bill of health most pleasing to both of us that my risk of diabetes (which she was concerned about) is lower now and my weight is down. From their scale at the clinic 280.2 lbs. last year 279.9 lbs. now.
Which gets to another reason I did not post last Friday, I seem to have a totally undependable weight scale. When I stepped on it then, I thought it said 271, but the light was poor and as I adjusted on it to get a better read it was jumping from about 260 to 280 so I stepped off and after the dial stopped bouncing around I stepped back on and it said 275! So I really don’t trust the thing and that rather throws off all the numbers I have been sharing. The good news is that I am losing weight and feeling better. I may have to get a different scale and start over on my progress reports. I have also been having an odd tingling all over my body that I wasn’t sure about (and still not) Dr. says that is likely a reaction to some toxin, which today when she said that immediately made me think of the chemicals at work that I and others have been having issues with. She said it’s hard to know without a lot of testing and it does seem to be decreasing now, so I am not that concerned about it. The Dr. was pleased that I am doing a challenge to lose weight and improve my health, and so am I. It's been a few days since my last post and I'll admit to putting off this chapter which is titled "Failure Is The Way Forward".
I don't remember all the details but somehow I have it implanted in my head and emotions that failure is just that, failure, and it's bad and you don't want bad. In my head I know that is wrong, that actually failure is the way forward, that is is the path to success, but I still avoid it. Mark says: "At some point, most of us reach a place where we're afraid to fail, where we instinctively avoid failure and stick only to what is placed in front of us or only what we are already good at." Yep, that's me, and I bet to a large extent it's you too. And it leaves us stuck. The only way out of stuck is to press on and be willing to fail at something we believe in and are willing to commit to until we succeed. And hopefully, that thing includes just simply improving ourselves. Being a bit better today than we were yesterday. What if I am wrong is tuff, but this!
As Mark says: "Many people are able to ask themselves if they're wrong, but few are able to go the extra step and admit what it would mean if they were wrong. That's because the potential meaning behind our wrongness is often painful. Not only does it call into question our values, but it forces us to consider what a different, contradictory value could potentially look and feel like." I have done this with core beliefs that I grew up with and had strongly adhered to. Beliefs that I thought where about love but came to realize where more about fear. And that was very painful but it made my life better, it made me more free. It made me able to love and accept myself and others more freely. And I think this is one of the things I love so much about this book is that it is helping me ask these questions again. Just because the beliefs I had before were wrong doesn't mean the ones I have now are right. It's not always right and wrong, often it's just less wrong. And realizing that you might just be less wrong rather than right can help you dig deeper, to get to the root, the meaning. For most of my life I have taken a stance on something that is a hot topic right now, so I'll just call it "A". I still feel strongly about A but what I asked "What would it mean if I was wrong? I began to see that A was a symptom rather than the problem itself. That to solve the problem we need to go deeper. So tough as it may be, to make our lives and the world better, we really need to ask not just what if I am wrong? We also need to understand that it's often not a choice of right and wrong at all, but often less wrong rather than right and we need to ask what does that mean? I'm just going to start this post by quoting Mark. "That means the more something threatens to change how you view yourself, how successful/unsuccessful you believe yourself to be, how you see yourself living up to your values, the more you will get around to ever doing it"
"There's a certain comfort that comes with knowing how you fit in the world. Anything that shakes up that comfort - even if it could potentially make your life better - is inherently scary." Man, I read that and thought, yep, that's me. There are things I know that I could do to break free from the job I have and gain more freedom over my life, but I am not doing them. I love working on Tiny House designs but am not doing what I need to do to actually build a tiny house, etc. etc. I see this in my life a lot. BUT I also see that I have made changes in my life, huge tumultuous changes. And my life is better for it. So maybe I need to see myself more as someone that benefits and grows from change. As someone who embraces it. As Mark says: "that's what keeps you striving and discovering. And it forces you to remain humble in your judgments and accepting of others." So what are you avoiding? |
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